I'm a Pessimistic Realist, What Are You?

A little over a week ago, I was blog hopping as was my habit while I drank my coffee before I settled down to write, and stopped off at Magical Musings. My GIAM buddy, Edie, a member of that particular glog, and had written the topic of the day, Staying Positive. It was a good article with many writers contributing to their experiences.

I, of course, felt the need to comment.

I had always been a glass half-empty type of person, UNTIL I started querying, entering contests, and submitting, then I turned into a total Pollyanna, glass half-full person, trying to look at the bright side all the freakin’ time! It probably has to do with everyone cheering you on with a trite, “an R is one step toward publication”, or “your writing is awesome–one day it’ll happen” (uh, this is from someone who has NEVER read my writing). This only made me feel worse for not succeeding in the publication biz.

Fast Forward eight years: I’m now a pessimistic old fart. I EXPECT the rejections, relish them actually. Why? Because I don’t fall into the vortex of depression when I DO get one. And the perk? I get a really good high when I get a request.

For me, this is a win-win. And when I do get the rejections, well, I already have another plan of attack ready to go.

Edie's response was the one I hoped to get:

Margaret, you had me laughing again. I love your writing, and some day an agent, editors and a whole lot of readers will be loving it, too.

Well, my Pollyanna comment really struck a nerve with one of the commenters. She was proud to be an optimistic-no-matter-what Pollyanna.

. . . I read the name Pollyanna in the above comments, and yep that’s the side of the playing field I’m on. I’d rather go through life experiencing the positive, than a gazillionaire with a bad attitude and drenched in negativity. Now, that would be depressing!

I had to laugh. She didn't know me, my weirdly dry sense of humor, or how MANY times I've faced rejection. So I searched my archives:
Book 1, The Aegis--6 queries--6 rejections
Book 2, The Dragon Warrior--13 queries--13 rejections
Book 3, Twist of Fate (was Beyond the Past)--93 queries/partials/etc--93 rejections
Book 4, The Leprechaun Connection--stopped recording--5 queries--5 rejections, but I would hazard a guess that it was around the 90 mark.
Book 5, Scent of Evil, novella--1 query--1 rejection (novellas don't really sell well unless you are known or write erotica, and this wasn't sensual) I decided this would work better as a full length novel--unfinished as novel.
Picture books (9)--didn't keep track, but I think I sent out 10 queries on one of them--10 rejections
Book 6, To Gnome Me is To Love Me (was MISSING: One Garden Gnome)--110 queries--75 rejections--35 no response means no. I think that I've had my fair share of rejections. I've had the Pollyanna attitude for ALL of them except for the last fifteen rejections on Gnome, AND I was down for DAYS with every rejections EXCEPT for the last fifteen. As a writer I retain my sanity when I expect the rejections, AND have a Plan B ready to go.

An because I'm such a bonehead, I responded:

I don’t think I have a bad attitude about anything, but I am realistic. I know this is a tough business to break into. Percentage-wise, I know the rejections will outnumber the requests–and trust me, I have received over 70 rejections on my last novel, and this was novel #5. And I know that this business is terribly subjective. Just because someone likes your work, it doesn’t mean she can sell it or place it in the publisher’s line.

Shoot, I totally switched genre gears last year and started from scratch as I tried to figure out what it takes to get published in this new genre. I didn’t have any writing buddies in this new field, and though supportive, many of my romance writing buddies don’t read or understand MG.

It’s all part of the business. I wouldn’t be trying if I didn’t have a positive attitude, but I’ve had to learn to adjust my thinking to work for me and my mental state.

In other words, I’m POSITIVE that I will get a rejection.

Getting my hopes up when I see the agent email or the agent letter in my mailbox won't change their response. I had to change my reaction to it, otherwise I would drive myself crazy.

So my pessimistic realistic approach works for me. And if you are always on the optimistic side, well the, good for you. So whatever you have to do to retain your sanity. My answer was to revert to my tried and true pessimism

Hi, my name is Margaret and I'm a Pessimistic Realist. What are you?

Write on!

Paying Your Dues

*You know what's really, really sad? I edited this post numerous times and I never caught this stupid typo--payed, should be paid. *sigh* I will fix them.
Paying Your Dues.

I always hated that phrase. I've heard it in all aspects of my life, work, play, work. It's trite, but it's the essence of truth that ticks me off.

Most humans don't appreciate things when they come easy or are given to them. How many kids do you know that are total spoiled brats? A lot. It's because Mom and/or Dad felt guilty and gave their kid whatever they wanted from the first tantrum until their adult tantrums. But those who had to work for their spending money, or their first bike, contact lenses, or High School class ring. Those of us who had to work for it had an appreciation that those who didn't work for it would never understand.

It's the same way with work. When I started working as a medical technologist at a large hospital, I was told that I would have to 'pay my dues' by working evenings or night shift. Hated evenings (3-11), LOVED nights (11-7), and I'm a gal who is in bed at 9 or 10 at night, but if I have a reason to stay awake, I can do it. Most recent example of this was skiing all day and then keeping hubster awake while we drove home from Colorado (12 -13 hour drive). I paid my dues at work, but I enjoyed working nights and learned a lot about my skills and abilities, plus there was the goofing-off aspect of nights. Heck, my boss slept on the job, so we could play, read, or whatever as long as the work got done as it came in. It did the work and we played. :-)

I thought moving to days would be like finding Shangri-la.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

I lost my pay differential. I lost my ability to goof-off. I lost my ability to make educated decisions. I learned what it was like to be micro-managed. I had to teach inept college kids--and this REALLY pushed my tolerance limit! The MT students wanted to be spoonfed EVERYTHING. One time, I had to explain how to start a machine to a student THREE TIMES in a five minute period. Yeah, push this button, type in this number (on the specimen label), and push START. Uh, I had to walk away from that one--I almost came to blows. Yes, I wanted to beat her head against the keyboard. Thus I decided that I HATE STUPID PEOPLE. Maybe I should qualify this. I HATE PEOPLE WHO LACK COMMON SENSE AND REASONING.

Did I gain anything? Probably, but I'll always have fond memories of working nights.

How did I pay my dues during play? Ask Jody how many times I hit the dirt riding my second horse Abe. She even featured me in a KJM Comic book--for frequent flyer miles. Yeah, I paid my dues. I got a ruptured disc thanks to Abe, but I really learned to ride anything he had to throw at me (a buck, a spin, a rear, a side-step, then the little bastard started mixing it up and combining his moves) I think I paid my dues.

And then there is my writing life. I have to say that I've paid my dues, and that learning curve was freaking steep! I've read numerous books on craft. I've gone to conferences. I've attended classes. I've written dreck. . . more dreck . . . hideous dreck. And then things got better. I learned to craft a tale. I learned to write dialogue. I learned how to write subtly, using the way a POV character views the world and others to show internal conflict and characterization. And the biggest thing that I've learned?

I've learned to handle rejection--lots and lots of rejection. I've been eviscerated by crit partners, contest judges, and even strangers when I posted something online. I've had good rejections, form rejections, and poorly xeroxed copies of rejections (Yes, they STILL do that!). I've learned that writers must gain a thick skin to survive in this biz, and if you don't learn it early on then you will have to deal with it when you publish and various anonymous posters proceed to slice and dice you and your novel.

Personally, I'm glad that I've paid my dues. It's made me stronger, tolerant and more sure of myself.

And if there's any good Karma vibes ready to head my way--I think I'm ready.

Write on!