I, of course, felt the need to comment.
I had always been a glass half-empty type of person, UNTIL I started querying, entering contests, and submitting, then I turned into a total Pollyanna, glass half-full person, trying to look at the bright side all the freakin’ time! It probably has to do with everyone cheering you on with a trite, “an R is one step toward publication”, or “your writing is awesome–one day it’ll happen” (uh, this is from someone who has NEVER read my writing). This only made me feel worse for not succeeding in the publication biz.
Fast Forward eight years: I’m now a pessimistic old fart. I EXPECT the rejections, relish them actually. Why? Because I don’t fall into the vortex of depression when I DO get one. And the perk? I get a really good high when I get a request.
For me, this is a win-win. And when I do get the rejections, well, I already have another plan of attack ready to go.
Edie's response was the one I hoped to get:
Margaret, you had me laughing again. I love your writing, and some day an agent, editors and a whole lot of readers will be loving it, too.
Well, my Pollyanna comment really struck a nerve with one of the commenters. She was proud to be an optimistic-no-matter-what Pollyanna.
. . . I read the name Pollyanna in the above comments, and yep that’s the side of the playing field I’m on. I’d rather go through life experiencing the positive, than a gazillionaire with a bad attitude and drenched in negativity. Now, that would be depressing!
I had to laugh. She didn't know me, my weirdly dry sense of humor, or how MANY times I've faced rejection. So I searched my archives:
Book 1, The Aegis--6 queries--6 rejections
Book 2, The Dragon Warrior--13 queries--13 rejections
Book 3, Twist of Fate (was Beyond the Past)--93 queries/partials/etc--93 rejections
Book 4, The Leprechaun Connection--stopped recording--5 queries--5 rejections, but I would hazard a guess that it was around the 90 mark.
Book 5, Scent of Evil, novella--1 query--1 rejection (novellas don't really sell well unless you are known or write erotica, and this wasn't sensual) I decided this would work better as a full length novel--unfinished as novel.
Picture books (9)--didn't keep track, but I think I sent out 10 queries on one of them--10 rejections
Book 6, To Gnome Me is To Love Me (was MISSING: One Garden Gnome)--110 queries--75 rejections--35 no response means no. I think that I've had my fair share of rejections. I've had the Pollyanna attitude for ALL of them except for the last fifteen rejections on Gnome, AND I was down for DAYS with every rejections EXCEPT for the last fifteen. As a writer I retain my sanity when I expect the rejections, AND have a Plan B ready to go.
An because I'm such a bonehead, I responded:
I don’t think I have a bad attitude about anything, but I am realistic. I know this is a tough business to break into. Percentage-wise, I know the rejections will outnumber the requests–and trust me, I have received over 70 rejections on my last novel, and this was novel #5. And I know that this business is terribly subjective. Just because someone likes your work, it doesn’t mean she can sell it or place it in the publisher’s line.
Shoot, I totally switched genre gears last year and started from scratch as I tried to figure out what it takes to get published in this new genre. I didn’t have any writing buddies in this new field, and though supportive, many of my romance writing buddies don’t read or understand MG.
It’s all part of the business. I wouldn’t be trying if I didn’t have a positive attitude, but I’ve had to learn to adjust my thinking to work for me and my mental state.
In other words, I’m POSITIVE that I will get a rejection.
Getting my hopes up when I see the agent email or the agent letter in my mailbox won't change their response. I had to change my reaction to it, otherwise I would drive myself crazy.
So my pessimistic realistic approach works for me. And if you are always on the optimistic side, well the, good for you. So whatever you have to do to retain your sanity. My answer was to revert to my tried and true pessimism
Hi, my name is Margaret and I'm a Pessimistic Realist. What are you?
Write on!
It could be that I'm a pessimistic realist, because when I get a rejection, I don't let it floor me (though some hurt more than others). I think that person wasn't right for my book, and keep going on. I believe in myself.
ReplyDeleteWhen I send out queries, I'm very optimistic. At the same time, I don't think everyone will love it. Although they should. lol I say that "I don't expect, but I hope."
You have it figured out, Edie! The key is to not let it pull you down and I don't see you getting pulled down too often.
ReplyDeleteI teach riding lessons. When my students start to want to compete, I drive this mantra into their head: You must never go into the ring EXPECTING that you will will. But you must always go into the ring believing that you CAN.
ReplyDeleteI think that translates to all sorts of life's situations.
I believe I CAN - win, get published, be successful, be happy, whatever. Not saying it will be easy, but I believe it WILL happen.
I also have a friend whose mantra is: No doesn't mean No. It means you asked the wrong person, you asked the wrong way, or you asked at the wrong time.
ReplyDeleteToo True on both sets of comments, Jody. Expecting something to happen to you because you want it just screams entitlement. No one is entitled.
ReplyDeleteAs a horseback rider I had a tough pill to swallow because no matter how hard I worked or trained or became one with my horse, I would never succeed as there would always be a few people with better horses than mine. A judge is looking at that horse over that jump on that day and doesn't see improvement. *shrugs* it was a tough lesson.
Where writing is concerned, I do believe there is luck, timing, and finding the right person.
Re: riding and showing: it depends on your definition of 'success.' IF 'success' means winning the blue ribbon, you're pretty much set up to fail a lot of the time. If 'success' means giving your horse the best ride you can at the time and in those circumstances, then you can win much more often.
ReplyDeleteI always tell my students the goal is the best ride you can do, and winning is the side effect.
Yeah, I had to take cold comfort in the fact that I had an awesome ride, just not a winning ride.
ReplyDeleteIt always pissed me off when those snotty rich kids who had a trainer work their horse 3-5 days a week, and only rode every now and then, would take the ribbons.
--Hm, methinks I'm still bitter about it. *deep calming breath*
Just read this blog, Margaret, and as always you're right on. You're a realist, all right. I also think you're on an even keel mentality which keeps you sane. So while you say pessimist, I say your a pragmatist realist, so there :) * Hugs while you're at it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by, Donnell! I'll take pragmatic. And I could feel that hug all the way from Colorado!
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. A lot of the winning seems undeserved. You just really have to take the focus off the winning, and really MEAN it. That's the hard part. Until you REALLY feel that the awesome ride is the reward (MEAN it, not just SAY it), the 'comfort' will continue to be 'cold.' It should be warm and fuzzy!
ReplyDeleteNo matter how the ribbons fell, when I came out of the ring after a glorious ride, I was on cloud nine. No judge's decision could take that away from me.
When I race, I know I won't win, but if I can do better than I did the race before, or learn something more about my car, then that's a win.
ReplyDeleteI'm an optimist when I send out that query, and a shrugger when a rejection comes. Oh well, there's always the next place.
Great post, Margaret.
Thanks for stopping by, Meg! It took me a LONG time quit getting my hopes up--the odds are against me. Intellectually, I knew it, but emotionally, pfftt!
ReplyDeleteI've found system that works for me so I can retain my sanity . . . sort of . . . as much as I can . . . whoa! . . .was that a zombie???
I'm just the opposite....the greater the odds, the more my hopes get up!
ReplyDelete