Paying Your Dues

*You know what's really, really sad? I edited this post numerous times and I never caught this stupid typo--payed, should be paid. *sigh* I will fix them.
Paying Your Dues.

I always hated that phrase. I've heard it in all aspects of my life, work, play, work. It's trite, but it's the essence of truth that ticks me off.

Most humans don't appreciate things when they come easy or are given to them. How many kids do you know that are total spoiled brats? A lot. It's because Mom and/or Dad felt guilty and gave their kid whatever they wanted from the first tantrum until their adult tantrums. But those who had to work for their spending money, or their first bike, contact lenses, or High School class ring. Those of us who had to work for it had an appreciation that those who didn't work for it would never understand.

It's the same way with work. When I started working as a medical technologist at a large hospital, I was told that I would have to 'pay my dues' by working evenings or night shift. Hated evenings (3-11), LOVED nights (11-7), and I'm a gal who is in bed at 9 or 10 at night, but if I have a reason to stay awake, I can do it. Most recent example of this was skiing all day and then keeping hubster awake while we drove home from Colorado (12 -13 hour drive). I paid my dues at work, but I enjoyed working nights and learned a lot about my skills and abilities, plus there was the goofing-off aspect of nights. Heck, my boss slept on the job, so we could play, read, or whatever as long as the work got done as it came in. It did the work and we played. :-)

I thought moving to days would be like finding Shangri-la.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

I lost my pay differential. I lost my ability to goof-off. I lost my ability to make educated decisions. I learned what it was like to be micro-managed. I had to teach inept college kids--and this REALLY pushed my tolerance limit! The MT students wanted to be spoonfed EVERYTHING. One time, I had to explain how to start a machine to a student THREE TIMES in a five minute period. Yeah, push this button, type in this number (on the specimen label), and push START. Uh, I had to walk away from that one--I almost came to blows. Yes, I wanted to beat her head against the keyboard. Thus I decided that I HATE STUPID PEOPLE. Maybe I should qualify this. I HATE PEOPLE WHO LACK COMMON SENSE AND REASONING.

Did I gain anything? Probably, but I'll always have fond memories of working nights.

How did I pay my dues during play? Ask Jody how many times I hit the dirt riding my second horse Abe. She even featured me in a KJM Comic book--for frequent flyer miles. Yeah, I paid my dues. I got a ruptured disc thanks to Abe, but I really learned to ride anything he had to throw at me (a buck, a spin, a rear, a side-step, then the little bastard started mixing it up and combining his moves) I think I paid my dues.

And then there is my writing life. I have to say that I've paid my dues, and that learning curve was freaking steep! I've read numerous books on craft. I've gone to conferences. I've attended classes. I've written dreck. . . more dreck . . . hideous dreck. And then things got better. I learned to craft a tale. I learned to write dialogue. I learned how to write subtly, using the way a POV character views the world and others to show internal conflict and characterization. And the biggest thing that I've learned?

I've learned to handle rejection--lots and lots of rejection. I've been eviscerated by crit partners, contest judges, and even strangers when I posted something online. I've had good rejections, form rejections, and poorly xeroxed copies of rejections (Yes, they STILL do that!). I've learned that writers must gain a thick skin to survive in this biz, and if you don't learn it early on then you will have to deal with it when you publish and various anonymous posters proceed to slice and dice you and your novel.

Personally, I'm glad that I've paid my dues. It's made me stronger, tolerant and more sure of myself.

And if there's any good Karma vibes ready to head my way--I think I'm ready.

Write on!