Heels Down! Query Up!

I learned how to ride a horse when I was in my early twenties. Dawn, my trainer at the time, tried her darnedest to teach me the concept of 'heels down' ('Eyes up' is the rest of the phrase, but I don't want to go into the excruciating detail of how long it took me to learn that one! Let's just say that I ate a LOT of dirt before I got it). But I never really understood what she was talking about. Yeah, try teaching an old dog new tricks. Fast forward to a new trainer at our facility, Carol. Carol said the exact same words, but in a different way, plus she forced my heel down and adjusted my leg.


Holy Moly! I got it!


A side note: When riding English (and I think Western, too, but don't quote me on it) the ball of your foot sits on the stirrup, BUT to draw your leg around the girth of the horse you must lengthen your leg. To do that end, you drop your heel, which stretches and lengthens all the muscles from your calves through your hips.


Now, I will never have the beautiful equitation leg that Jody has--she's built differently. I have short round muscles on short stubby legs, and she has long lean muscles on relatively normal length legs. Short and round will never be as pretty as long and lean on a horse. I got over it a long, long time ago--NOT!


--If you want to practice this technique simply place the ball of your foot on the edge of a stair and then slowly drop your weight in your heels. To get the full effect, bend at your hips and knees slightly. Then post rhythmically for an hour and see how sore you can get. And silly doctors don't think horseback riding is aerobic! They need to get ON a horse and post for fifteen minutes, then they'll change their tune!! Ha!


Back on topic, sort of: I bet your were wondering how I was going to segue from horses to writing, right? There is reason to my segue madness, trust me . . .


How did I finally, trust me, we are talking a couple of YEARS here, figure out how to drop my heels. Carol told me the same thing Dawn did, but--here it comes--in a different way.


How does this relate to queries?


Queries are a necessary evil that writers must face. We have to garner the interest of an agent to gain entrance through the hallowed doors of most publishing houses. Thus, we must query.

And over the years I have queried various stories. I've learned some secrets, (no, there isn't a special handshake--*snort* I WISH!) and insight about this process, but it wasn't until I read a blog entry of Jennifer Jackson, an agent for The Donald Maass Agency, that it finally made sense. She didn't compare it to horses, but instead to food, my other love in life.

Queries are the appetizer in the agent meal. They should whet the palate and excite the agent. The synopsis is the bones of the meal--bare and straight forward--showing the ability to the writer to tell a good story and round out a plot.
And the five pages that many agents want, balance it all out with details that hint at the writer's style and hook of the story.

The query also provides the agent with valuable subtext in ". . . the way a writer perceives their own work. Their attitude about both writing and publishing (often separate considerations). It can show their attention to detail and their level of professionalism. It can reveal whether the writer has done their research . . ."


Though queries are a necessary evil, writers would do well to learn from each and every one she writes because her query might turn a NO form rejection letter into a MAYBE partial request.

So, next time you write a query, think about it as the Onion Blossom at Outback Steakhouse. Fried with a hint of heat in the coating, a tender onion on the inside and the dipping sauce to end all dipping sauces. MMM, fried food. . .

Write On!

Gun Shy

Well . . . I'm ready to query . . . I guess. I was ready, but Jody hasn't gotten back to me with her comments about query version #3B. (Just kidding, Jods! I still have a synopsis to write!)

I HATE this part of the process. I get all excited about querying my precious story. I deliberate which agent would be the best choice in large agencies. I obsess over each agent's personal query requirement. And then I hit send.
--Yes, I only send equeries. Sorry, but I think it's totally asinine to waste money on paper and postage. If an agency hasn't gotten with the electronic times, then I wouldn't want to be represented by them anyway!

Sometimes it doesn't take long for the rejections to start rolling in. Sometimes I never hear back AT ALL (Personal pet peeve of mine--at least have the courtesy of an auto-response that it was rec'd!).

Revamp query and try next batch of agents. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I've been in this hot seat before and it doesn't get any easier. MISSING: One Garden Gnome is my fifth complete manuscript, but that doesn't count my picture book rejections or the first two stories that I only queried minimally. It's the part of the business that is extremely frustrating because if you do get a rejection it is usually a form letter--well, at least all mine have been with only a rare exception.

So as a writer you don't know WHY the story is being rejected. It could be anything from the plot needing a major overhaul, to they just bought something similar, to just didn't strike the agent's fancy. Shoot, for all we know, it could be just because the query wasn't enticing enough!

Rejections happen. Develop a thick skin. Just because you get published doesn't mean the rejections stop. From what I've heard it gets worse with every Joe-Schmoe dissing your book on Amazon's link.

And if all else fails.

Write on!

Start with the Devil, End with the Star

As you all might or might not know, I started drawing a daily Tarot card. Originally it was to research a character in a romantic suspense, but then I used it to make certain I documented my writing progress as it forces me to pull up my computer calender and write my card down.

I also use this calender to document my monthly goals. Sometimes their big, other times small. During the summer, my goals are usually small: edit, write query letters, judge contests. In other words, stuff I can walk away from without it blowing my brain pan to smithereens.

So on Monday, I drew the Devil. Probably the worse card in the freakin' deck other than The Tower. The Devil represents negativity and hopelessness. And yes, I was feeling the green monster this week. One, it ticked me off that I felt that way about a friend's excitement and success. Two, I read through my MG novel and couldn't believe I thought such dreck could actually be my first published novel. I always have the same hope for each of my novels and I always have my hopes smashed to smithereens. So needless to say I still have low hopes right now, and all the cheerleading friends in the world won't help me get out of this funk.

I'll have to work it out on my own.

Today I drew The Star, hope and inspiration, and the complete opposite of the Devil. The Star doesn't offer practical help, but it does make you realize that life isn't so dark.

I must have been feeling a little more sure of myself yesterday, because I worked on my query for MOGG, my middle grade novel. Of course in true Margaret fashion, I put the cart before the horse and submitted my query to Query Shark. I don't know if it will make it onto the blog and if it does I fully expect it to be cut to shreds, because it is totally different from the normal query. I have a tough skin. I'm used to it.

If I'm opening up myself for public ridicule, I might as well give my friends first heckle. Here is my query:

My garden gnome went missing. It’s your basic pudgy gnome with a white beard and red pointy cap about twelve inches tall made out of some sort of hard stuff. Walking away was out of the question. Statues don’t walk. I can’t imagine someone stealing it, ‘cause who in their right mind would drive to Nowheresville, Oklahoma to steal a gnome?
So I decided to look for it.
What I didn’t expect to find was a real live gnome named Rory Leafhopper.
Go figure.
My name is Rhiannon Webber, just call me Rhee. It seems that the gnome wanted my help to figure out what happened to all the local mythical creatures. It was summer. School was out. We lived in the country. No cable and stinky TV reception. Add those four sentences together and you get one excruciatingly bored eleven year old girl. Plus the adventure would get me out of Mom’s hair for awhile. I’m game.
It wasn’t until I overheard my mom talking that I discovered I’m adopted and a half-blood, too. Half-blood what I didn’t have a clue. Maybe that was why I could see the gnome. Talk about a shock. I hoped Rory could tell me about being an adopted half-blood when old Mrs. Finch’s cat, Mr. Bickles snatched him.
Now, I have to rescue the gnome. What else could possibly go wrong?
MISSING: One Garden Gnome is a middle grade novel complete at 45,000 words. I would be happy to submit the manuscript and synopsis per your request. Thank you for taking the time to consider my story.
Sincerely,
Wannabe Author

Oh, for all the possible boo-boos in this query, it does one thing and it does it well.

It shows voice.

Write on!

Queryland. . . again

I've been angsting over my children's story, so I decided to start pimping my picture book/easy reader, Peter's Messy Room. I'd tweaked, edited, reworked it so I would have the appropriate number of pictures with pages, cut my word count, etc. It was time to let go.

Two days ago I started researching literary agents specializing in children's books. My primary site is Agent Query. And from there I investigate the agency website, decide which agent to target within the larger agencies and verify their status with Preditors and Editors. Even with all my careful preparation one of my queries was sent to an agent no longer at the agency. This agent's name is still plastered all over the agency's website. I did my research, so why can't agencies keep their website updated?

Yesterday, I submitted to 19 agencies electronically. I personalized each salutation, verified each agent, and most of them wanted to have picture book text pasted into the email. Awesome, not a problem. I had to remove two agents from the pile because they only represent middle-grade and above stories, NOT picture books. Okay, I'll save them for my Missing Gnome story. Speaking of that, I need to get my butt in gear and finish the silly thing. I'm 1/4 of the way through, so I need to keep on writing.

So far, I have had (updated) five rejections on PMR. I'd rather have quick rejections than wait for the 'no response from us means no' mindset. THAT drives me crazy! How hard is it to click reply and say "no thanks"??? But this topic is definitely a whole other blog. And many fine agents have addressed this issue on their blogs within the last month. One of the queries I sent happened to be to an agent that I sent this query to in Jan---uh, OOPS! I didn't think I sent PMR to anyone. Guess I should have checked my list a little better, huh? This was one of those agents who don't respond unless interested, which fits my point--how do I even KNOW she got the first email? :-) I think I'll chock that one up as a no request.

Today, I'll be snail mail querying. I have seven agents who still require writers to kill trees. Personalizing these letters, addressing envelopes, and making certain I have stamped SASE's takes a little more time, but I should have it finished in an hour or so. And once they are out the door, I can forget about PMR. I have a list of things I need to do: finish my @#%@#$%@# faerie story, write on my middle grade story, and fill out a character profiling chart on my urban fantasy heroine that I'd like to make into a series of seven books.

What are my odds of gaining the interest of an agent?

Slim to none. I don't have unrealistic hopes. I've been in this writing biz long enough to know the odds are not in my favor. I really, really like this story, BUT I honestly don't think it is 'different enough' for the current market. When I attended a SCBWI conference last month, Abigail Samoun of Tricycle Press had some depressing statistics. Last year Tricycle had over 7000 slush pile submissions, of that number they published 3, only 0.0004% of those submissions were published.

Yeah, those aren't very good odds. But writers do what they have to do--they write.

Write on!