Time to Step up and be a Parent

I observed a few things this last week that might generate a few blogs, simply because one blog would be far too long to keep the average person's attention.

On Saturday, my daughter had her hair trimmed and a few subtle highlights put in her hair. 1) I didn't want to do the highlights--Catholic school and colored hair rules, though the 'color' part has to do with COLORS, not just streaks, and 2) I didn't want her to have 'bangs' because the last time she had bangs she complained about them during the entire growing out process . . . over six months of complaining.

So, of course, the hubs convinced me that she should have both. *sigh*

She doesn't look like a 6th grader does she? I know I didn't look like THAT when I was a sixth grader!

Here's bonus pic of the two of us. Both of us were wearing sneakers, but the height difference is noticeable even without her trying to be taller--see the lifted chin?

So back to my parenting comments.

I will mention that my hair stylist and her salon are very current. The salon is affiliated with Paul Mitchell and they have numerous hoops to jump through with their cutting and color techniques. My personal hairdresser is too cool also--young, hip, hair dyed an interesting pinky-purple and a ton of tats. She also does numerous hair shows a year in various parts of the country. This salon is very upscale.

Anyhoo, as I was sitting a waiting another mother waited to hand her three daughter's off to various stylists before booking it out of there--probably for a coffee at the Barnes & Noble next door. It was the conversation she was having with her girls that perked my attention.

The three girls were probably between 9 and 13 years old. They wanted to see THE CROODS, but mom was trying to convince them to see some other movie. I don't know what movie this might be, but the problem I had with the mom was her selfish attitude about the whole thing.

Look, Mom, if you want to see an inappropriate movie--do it on your own time.

THE CROODS movie is a wonderful, child-friendly story, with just enough adult humor to keep the parents happy. And I don't mean sexually-explicit adult humor that is rampant across most TV channels, but the day to day stuff parents will 'get', but might go over a child's head depending on age. It made me cry, but it also made me very, very happy. I love leaving the movie theater with a huge smile on my face.

Parents are always blaming society for the loss of innocence in their children. Well, maybe it's time to finally be accountable for your actions as a parent. Don't blame TV, movies, video games for your lack of parenting skills . . . blame yourself.

As a parent and the adult in the relationship, you must make choices for your child until they are mature enough to make choices for themselves. Sometimes you allow them just enough free rein to become entangled in a mess, then you have to tighten the reins again before you slowly ease them out again.

As a parent, we also hope and pray that some of these lessons sink in. That we've instilled in our children enough morals, self-worth, courage, and common sense to make the appropriate decision for the occasion, because we won't always be there to guide them.

Being a parent is all about making the hard choices. I'm not my daughter's BFF, but then I don't want to be . . . yet. I'm her example, her rock, and a shoulder to cry on.

I'm a Mom.

Something to think about.

Later, Peeps!

Ugly Parents leads to Ugly Children

This weekend, my kidlet had her last two basketball games of the season. One was the regularly scheduled game, and the second one was a makeup game due to a snow day.

Of course, they played the same team both times, only two hours apart.

--and it wasn't pretty in more ways than one.

These teams are supposed to be comprised of third graders, but I suspect the other team may have had a couple of fourth graders on the roster, or at the minimum OLDER third graders--if you know what I mean. Three of those girls were a head taller than my kidlet and my kidlet is TALL for her age. So when the other team got the ball near their goal it was like watching a bad game of keep away. If one of those tall girls got the ball, none of our kiddos could do anything about it until the other team scored a point.

But I have to agree with my hubster that our girls outplayed the other team and had a better grasp of the basics than they did. AND our girls were leagues ahead in the sportsmanship department than the other team.

During the first game, two of the parents on the opposing team were yelling. What it was I still don't know, but it must have been bad. They could have been yelling at our girls or the ref's calls, but whatever it was it pissed off one of the refs so much that he called the head honcho (HH) over to throw the parents OUT of the game. HH caved and allowed the parents to stay, but HH parked himself on the bench for the rest of the game. This little exhibit of poor conduct by parents was the first I had seen.

When my kidlet did dance, gymnastics and soccer, most of the time the parents giggled and laughed at the mistakes the kids made. It was all in good fun as the kids learned about the game and teamwork. But now, sports have taken a turn for the worse IMO.

This game ended in a tie, 20-20.

Cue game #2: The bad father didn't show up, but the mom and an older male child did. The parents were normal throughout this game, but nastiness showed up in their players.

I still don't 'get' all the rules for third grade bball, but if a player has the ball another player can grab it and hold on to it for a specified period of time. At that point, the ref blows the whistle and does a double thumbs up. One of the players gets to throw it in from the sidelines--still no idea how THAT was decided.

Well, large player from the other team would rip the ball out of our players arms AFTER the whistle. She did this EVERY SINGLE TIME. Ref reprimanded her, but didn't do anything about it. It did display poor sportsmanship. What was the point? Intimidation? Possibly, but THE OTHER TEAM WAS WINNING!! Again, what was the point?? Did the coach condone the attitude?? I wondered.

Another instance. Same big girl was in a tussle with one of our smallest players. And I have to give our player TONS of credit. The big girl was whipping her around like she was a rag doll and our player hung on! Wow! She's a tough one!

Another. Almost the end of the game. We were losing. I don't know by how much but at least ten points. I didn't see what was happening, but one of the other team players clotheslined one of our players ON PURPOSE. Our player was on the ground crying and trying to breath. I found out later from my kidlet that the other girl said something mean to our player, including that it 'served her right'. WHAT?? Getting clothslined when the ball wasn't anywhere nearby?? Again, what was the point?? We were losing. There was only 30 seconds left. I DON'T GET THIS BEHAVIOR!

Children learn this behavior from their parents AND the coach. I totally blame them. Parents are a child's number one influence. If a parent can't control their actions, how is a child going to learn to control hers?

If this hadn't been the last game of the season, I think the ref and coaches would have done something about this behavior.

My kidlet still likes bball and wants to play next season. I want my child to have opportunities to work as a team player. And I think I learned that no matter the age or the game there will always be bad parents who condone terrible behavior. As much as I like to think this was a lone incident, I know it wasn't. It happens in every sport youngsters play, and sometimes with dire consequences.

Just remember, IT'S JUST A GAME! and what type of parent do you want to embrace?

Something to think about.

Write on!