Ugly Parents leads to Ugly Children

This weekend, my kidlet had her last two basketball games of the season. One was the regularly scheduled game, and the second one was a makeup game due to a snow day.

Of course, they played the same team both times, only two hours apart.

--and it wasn't pretty in more ways than one.

These teams are supposed to be comprised of third graders, but I suspect the other team may have had a couple of fourth graders on the roster, or at the minimum OLDER third graders--if you know what I mean. Three of those girls were a head taller than my kidlet and my kidlet is TALL for her age. So when the other team got the ball near their goal it was like watching a bad game of keep away. If one of those tall girls got the ball, none of our kiddos could do anything about it until the other team scored a point.

But I have to agree with my hubster that our girls outplayed the other team and had a better grasp of the basics than they did. AND our girls were leagues ahead in the sportsmanship department than the other team.

During the first game, two of the parents on the opposing team were yelling. What it was I still don't know, but it must have been bad. They could have been yelling at our girls or the ref's calls, but whatever it was it pissed off one of the refs so much that he called the head honcho (HH) over to throw the parents OUT of the game. HH caved and allowed the parents to stay, but HH parked himself on the bench for the rest of the game. This little exhibit of poor conduct by parents was the first I had seen.

When my kidlet did dance, gymnastics and soccer, most of the time the parents giggled and laughed at the mistakes the kids made. It was all in good fun as the kids learned about the game and teamwork. But now, sports have taken a turn for the worse IMO.

This game ended in a tie, 20-20.

Cue game #2: The bad father didn't show up, but the mom and an older male child did. The parents were normal throughout this game, but nastiness showed up in their players.

I still don't 'get' all the rules for third grade bball, but if a player has the ball another player can grab it and hold on to it for a specified period of time. At that point, the ref blows the whistle and does a double thumbs up. One of the players gets to throw it in from the sidelines--still no idea how THAT was decided.

Well, large player from the other team would rip the ball out of our players arms AFTER the whistle. She did this EVERY SINGLE TIME. Ref reprimanded her, but didn't do anything about it. It did display poor sportsmanship. What was the point? Intimidation? Possibly, but THE OTHER TEAM WAS WINNING!! Again, what was the point?? Did the coach condone the attitude?? I wondered.

Another instance. Same big girl was in a tussle with one of our smallest players. And I have to give our player TONS of credit. The big girl was whipping her around like she was a rag doll and our player hung on! Wow! She's a tough one!

Another. Almost the end of the game. We were losing. I don't know by how much but at least ten points. I didn't see what was happening, but one of the other team players clotheslined one of our players ON PURPOSE. Our player was on the ground crying and trying to breath. I found out later from my kidlet that the other girl said something mean to our player, including that it 'served her right'. WHAT?? Getting clothslined when the ball wasn't anywhere nearby?? Again, what was the point?? We were losing. There was only 30 seconds left. I DON'T GET THIS BEHAVIOR!

Children learn this behavior from their parents AND the coach. I totally blame them. Parents are a child's number one influence. If a parent can't control their actions, how is a child going to learn to control hers?

If this hadn't been the last game of the season, I think the ref and coaches would have done something about this behavior.

My kidlet still likes bball and wants to play next season. I want my child to have opportunities to work as a team player. And I think I learned that no matter the age or the game there will always be bad parents who condone terrible behavior. As much as I like to think this was a lone incident, I know it wasn't. It happens in every sport youngsters play, and sometimes with dire consequences.

Just remember, IT'S JUST A GAME! and what type of parent do you want to embrace?

Something to think about.

Write on!