To crit or to be critted, THAT is the question. . .

Critique: an act of criticizing.
Criticize: to consider the merits or demerits of and judge accordingly.
--tends to give a negative impact on the writing
--but critters who only have wonderful things to say about your work aren't helping you become a better writer. They are stroking your ego, not helping you improve your craft.

Writing is a very personal and emotional expression of one's self. And when we offer our work up to be critiqued, we are opening ourselves up . . . and we tend to get our feelings hurt in the process, especially in the beginning of a writer's career. I'll quote a cliche that I chant as a personal mantra: "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."

As new writers we have to know what does and doesn't work, so we can fix it in our writing. Critiquing will help you to accomplish that goal, but you have to take that first step. And no, your loved ones and family members will NOT give you their true opinion, unless they happen to be writers, and then, they still might candy-coat it. You must find writers who write in the genre you are trying to break into. Having romance writers critique a horror story might help you develop some aspects of the story, but they don't have real knowledge of the horror genre and what it takes to make the story salable. You can benefit from their input, but after awhile you will have to spread your wings and fly.

1) You must be able to trust the person giving the critique: I think this is the #1 criteria for a valuable critique partnership.
--they should NEVER take your idea to write their own story
--they should never try to undermine your confidence. This is where it helps knowing, and trusting, the person critting you. Some people (me) tend to shoot from the hip as critters. And this can seem abrasive, harsh, and brutal to outside observers, but I won't usually be that blunt unless I think and know you can do better.
--you should never think your critters have an agenda. Again, the trust issue. If you don't trust them to give you an honest opinion, why are you asking them for it?
2) Critiquing is subjective: use the rule of 3. For example, if you get 3 critters that comment the lack of emotion in your submission, then you have a problem. Fix the emotional element.
3) Learn from the critique: When a person starts writing, they usually don't have a grasp of all the basics from grammar and punctuation to characterization and plot. But if you are told by the crit group that you must punctuate your dialogue in a specific manner--DO IT! There is nothing worse than critting someone who won't learn. That is pure laziness and disrespectful of the critter's time and effort.
4) If the critter has a problem with something, they should help pinpoint the problem area or offer suggestions on how to fix it. For example, "I hate your heroine!" doesn't help you figure out WHY. But "Your heroine is awfully whiny for a thirty year old" does suggest where the problem is and a place to start fixing.

That's it for now. I know I have more suggestions, but I'm drawing a Monday morning blank.
REMEMBER, this is your story. Good critters want to help you make your story the best it can possibly be. Take the suggestions that work and toss the others.