A Trite, But True, Saying:

SHOW, DON'T TELL

But what does this really mean? Actually, according to the blog-o-sphere, many agents don't know what it means, but they do know what works. I'll start with an example:

Johnny walked to school.

This is a perfectly fine sentence, right? Noun, verb, modifier. Nice, succinct and to the point. You would find a similar sentence in picture books, easy readers, chapter books and even some adult novels. BUT--this is TELLING what happened, and it is very two dimensional and provides a flat character. Many times, this is what is riddled through my first draft. I use this sort of sentence as a placeholder for SHOWING what really happened.

Usually when you SHOW something it usually involves far more wordage than telling. So this simple sentence will end up being a paragraph or more. Showing enhances the telling process. It helps establish characterization, deepens POV, provides internal narrative, and description.

Johnny tripped over the uneven and broken cement. The ancient oak tree's roots had surfaced and pushed against the sidewalk, snapping the walkway as easily as chalk. He should have been used to it by now, considering was only a couple of houses away from school. The final bell rang. His footsteps slowed as dread churned in his empty stomach.

He was late for school again.

In this small example the reader gets a slight description of the neighborhood (ancient oaks, broken sidewalks, school embedded within a neighborhood). The reader learns a little about the character (klutzy, it's a kid, walking distance to school, dreads school, late again--opens the question of why?)

The reason this is an important concept to learn is that it draws the reader into the story. Does the reader really care about Johnny walking to school? No, not really. But I like to think I opened the door to allow the reader to 'care' about Johnny when he's late for school in my second example.

Showing is a multi-faceted beast that adds so many dimensions in a story, whereas 'telling' a story provides a flat, 2-D character that keeps the reader at a distance, or looking through a window instead of being in the character's shoes. Of course, a flat story is perfectly fine for a first draft of a story, but it's the layering that provides the incentive for the prospective reader to continue reading.

Write on!