One teaser, four opinions

Last week I decided that I needed to add a teaser of FOR WHOM THE BELL TROLLS, Book three of The Goblin's Apprentice, to the end of FAERIE. I didn't want to do a full chapter since all I had of book three was a rough draft, AND I hadn't looked at the story since I wrote it a year ago. I could pull about three pages into a nice teaser, which would end with a decent cliffhanger.

I spent about two hours tweaking and rewriting it, but I felt something was missing. If y'all don't know this by now, I'll reiterate it:   I love/hate beginnings. The key to a good beginning is to ground the reader in the story and character without telling too much backstory.

And, well, I tend to blather on and on . . .

Yeah, surprising isn't it?

Plus this is the third book in the series, but what if someone picks up Book three first? I want them to know about the magic, but how much was too much? Or should I simply jump into the story?

So I sent out an SOS to my peeps.  Three GIAMer's (my online goals group) and Meg responded.

Of course, I got four different opinions. Meg loved it, but made one small suggestion. Another writer copied the text of a YA novel as an example. Another made small suggestion. While the fourth one would totally rewrite it.

*sigh* this was why I don't belong to a critique group any longer, the differing opinions simply confuse me more. I wondered how J. K. Rowlings handled the series thing, so I pulled out my collection of Harry Potter books. Each one of her subsequent stories started differently. One might go into wizarding detail. Another might jump right into the story, while another told the backstory of Tom Riddle. A couple had pages and pages of narrative, while others started in with dialogue.

It all depended on the story.

A few things stood out to me with TROLL:

• I knew I had a problem--this is the #1 most important insight to this whole mess
• I knew I had too much narrative--Yeah, but I could easily intersperse this scene with dialogue
• I knew I had to follow MY STORY STYLE and not a YA example.  Sorry, but MG and YA are totally different beasts, appealing to seriously different age groups and maturity levels. VERY IMPORTANT EPIPHANY FOR ANY STORY TELLER
• I knew I needed to fix it before I uploaded FAERIE--another writerly insight. It's better to sacrifice the publishing timeline and produce a quality product, than to sacrifice the product.

With this in mind, I'm buckling down and rewriting the teaser of TROLL.  While that sits and mellows, I will work on my final edit of FAERIE, which simply means catching the missing words, stupid sentences, etc.

With luck my cover designer will also be finished--yep, it's not just me who's behind schedule--so I can upload the entirety of THE FAST AND THE FAERIEOUS.

Later, Peeps!

What I learned from J. K. Rowlings--part 1

Monday was laundry/ironing day.  I wanted to watch two movies that my kiddo got from the Easter Bunny, Tangled and Megamind, but the snotty little kid wouldn't let me. Hey, if the plastic had been opened, I would have watched them, but it wasn't and I felt she should have the thrill of opening them herself.

Anyhoo, the kidlet suggested I watch the Harry Potter movies. So with the final installment due out July 15, I decided to revisit ALL the movies. Monday, I watched THE SORCERER'S STONE  and THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS. Now, this isn't to say that I haven't read the books, I have . . . a couple of times, but while I enjoyed the books I also felt that the movies did justice to the books. 

--something that doesn't always happen when the rights are sold to Hollywood (Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson's book, THE LIGHTNING THIEF, turned movie was a disaster!). I think Jo--I'll just call her Jo for ease, not because she and I are best buds or anything--was able to provide input to the creation of her stories, which is why the HP movies are so successful, well that, and the excellent acting and directing.

There are so many things that I can write about but today I'll concentrate on planting information without it feeling like author intrusion (forcing the character to do something that isn't in character or author manipulates the scene in a manner that takes the reader out of the story) or an info dump (telling the reader EVERYTHING the writer knows about X, Y, or Z). It was her subtle and delicate handling of dribbling in bits of information that shows the audience what they need to know without saying, "Hey!  Look here!  You need to pay attention!!"  Here are a few case-in-points:

From THE SORCERER'S STONE:
wand--When Harry gets his wand from Olivander's, Olivander remarks that a phoenix core resided in only TWO wands: Harry's and VOLDEMORT's wand. Olivander also plays an important, though minor, role in the later books.
cloak--the orgins of the cloak don't become known until the last book, but basically Harry's father gave it to Dumbledore for safekeeping. The cloak is part of a made up mythology Jo wrote to explain things in the end of the series.
wizard's chess--prior to Hermoine leaving for the Christmas holidays, the viewer sees Ron teaching Harry how to play Wizard's chess--this plays a role at the end of the movie. I do feel that Ron was sharper than he is written and portayed in subsequent books, because chess requires the player to think ahead.
quiddich--first snitch--Harry doesn't catch the snitch in the typical manner in his hand, instead he catches it in his mouth.  This plays an important role later on in the series as Dumbledore hids a clue for Harry and Hermoine to find.
--Comment from McGonnagall when they are late to class on the first day suggesting they get a map to find their way AND a watch--this was planted (whether by accident or on purpose, I don't know) for #3 THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN in the form of the Maurader's map and the time turner.

From THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS
Ron's wand--Ron's wand has to break to make all his spells backfire.  It breaks when they are doing something 'illegal' (flying a car and crashing it into the whomping willow--this tree also plays an important role in book #3). Jo also shows the reader the consequences of the broken wand (incomplete transfiguration of rat into cup AND the 'eat slugs' threat against Malfoy, prior to the vital scene)
mandrakes--This little scene provides characterization for quite a few characters, but the important fact is they must be used to un-petrify someone (planting the idea).
Fawkes the phoenix (probably named after Guy Fawkes. :-))--Remember: the phoenix only gave TWO feathers. Harry is sent to Dumbledore's office having to do with the petrifying of students and he 1) questions the sorting hat, 2) sees the phoenix burn up. He also learns that phoenix's tears have healing powers.
spiders--Ron hates spiders, so of course, spiders figure in #2.  Not just spiders--big honkin' spiders.
Dobie, though house elf, he and his kind have greater power than the wizards ever gave them credit for. He also goes against his wizard family to try and protect Harry, though it backfires quite a bit adding a lighter element. Plus his release plays an important role in the final book

There are tons of additional elements I could name, but it would put this blog in the way-too-long category.
But what you should take out of this is to show the reader important plot points without telling the reader about them.

Thank you, Jo!

Later, Peeps!