Driving Dumb-ass-ery

*slightly strong language alert*

As I was driving my kiddo to school today, I realized how many dumb-asses there were on the road.

I knew I was in trouble when at two different stoplights, people weren't paying attention to the light. Sitting and putzing around on your phone while waiting at a light is all fine and dandy providing you are actually paying attention to the aforementioned light.

The first problem was the woman who was chit-chatting in the left turn lane into school property. Three cars from the opposite direction turned before she got a clue. No horns were honked.

Finally, she turns--still yapping away on the phone--at about two miles per hour. When she pulls up to drop her kid off, she stops at the door instead of proceeding further down the drive--as indicated by the teachers waving her on. This allows only six cars to enter the property.

Too bad there were eight cars who followed her, which resulted in a blocked lane.

My lane of traffic, of course.

When I can finally move, I drive about a mile toward the expressway and am stopped at another light. The first three cars move, but dude in front of me is at a dead standstill. My hand hovers over the horn, but with my kiddo in the car I don't want to show her a bad example, so I explained that this is why we don't talk or text while driving a 2000-lb killing machine called a car. I don't honk, but dude finally gets a clue.

As we proceed up the on ramp, dude is all over the shoulder of the road because he's still texting.

Without another incident, I drop the kiddo off at school . . . now for the 20 minute drive home.

Getting onto the Broken Arrow expressway is a challenge depending on which onramp you use. 21st street is difficult, but not as blind as some other ones. I merge seamlessly because the car riding in the right lane adjusts his speed to back off so I can accelerate onto the expressway.

Ten minutes later, I make a move from the third lane (out of four) to the right hand lane to merge onto another expressway. I look. I signal. And I seamlessly cross over two lanes . . . or so I think.

Someone must have been constipated because the car I crossed in front of got his panties in a wad over this, even though I always allow more than enough room for him (I could see his entire car in my side AND rear view mirrors. So It's not like I cut him off.).  In a fit of dumb-ass-ery, this car gets in the right exit lane to pass me on the right and then cuts over in front of me.

Now, this did nothing for me. It didn't make me mad. It didn't upset me. It didn't incite anything other than, "Oops, someone doesn't know where they're going." comment from my mouth. It wasn't until dude didn't exit on the next off ramp to the expressway that I figured out he was driving mad.

Look, people, it's time to chill out.

• the roads are more crowded than normal. Plan to have extra time to get from place to place.
• People from the smaller towns are in town shopping and might not know the quirks of the various stoplights or roads.
• People from out-of-town are visiting relatives and might not know what's going on or the quickest way from point A to point D.
• Expect people to do dumb ass driving. Maybe they are having to follow a GPS that is telling them to turn right into an empty lot...or cow pasture (yes, that happened to us--the real road was another 1/4 mile further down the road.)
• People will be crossing over numerous lanes to get to the one entrance to the mall that is right in front of you . . . without realizing there are three more entrances down the road.
• People will be on your bumper, so stay off the bumper in front of you. --just yesterday there were two cars that bumped into each other right in front of me as I exited the expressway.

Keep your distance.

Keep your patience.

Keep your music turned up, because a little rock-n-roll cures all ills.

And keep safe!

Later, Peeps!