A friend hands you a book and says, "You HAVE to read this!"
Or "You have to try this wine/food/etc."
Or someone says, "You HAVE to take this class, it's just what you need."
Uhm, I don't know about you, but I hate it when someone says that I "Have to do Whatever." It makes me want to set my heels down and not budge. Maybe it stems from my childhood, where the parent tells you things you "HAVE TO DO". Or maybe I'm just obstinant and ornery. I don't HAVE to do anything I don't wanna do . . . well, with the exception of doing my taxes, taking a test so I can drive a car, or paying for stuff, etc. ect. I'm talking about the extracurricular stuff that life throws at you.
On the book front: I had a work friend tell me that I HAD to read, THE HORSE WHISPERER. I had a horse and was fanatical about him, plus I love reading romances and she told me it was a romance. It isn't. I nearly threw the book across the room when "hero" commited suicide by horse. I felt sorry for the HORSE and was glad the "hero" was dead, because that move wasn't heroic and by no means was it a romance. I refuse to read books that people tell me "I have to read." I'll read the blurb and maybe a page or two, but if it doesn't interest me, well, there are a bazillion books I'd rather read than the one "I have to read."
On the culinary front: I'll confess right up front that I've been guilty of doing this to my husband, especially when we went Missouri winery hopping pre-kidlet.
"Here, honey, you have to try this." I'd say, handing him my glass.
"Is it good?" he asks.
"No, but you have to try it. It tastes like you're licking a tree."
The center of the country wasn't known for it's wines, mainly due to the climate. Many vines can't handle the intense summer heat, especially at night, but they are developing vines that produce grapes for this region, which is resulting in wineries popping up. And just like you can't be a great writer simply by writing one book, the same holds true for many things, including making wine.
On the class-taking front: Some people love and live for taking on-line classes. Many writers that I know will take more than one at a time. I'M NOT ONE OF THEM. Oh, I've heard the Margie Lawson workshop is excellent, but even if I won a free packet I'd probably not even look inside. I'm pig-headed in that way. Right now, RWA PRO is having a free class for all the RWA PROs about using Wordpress.org as a website tool. One of my very good buddies is co-running it, but I'm simply not interested. Oh, I'm sure I could learn all sorts of fascinating things, but I don't do classes. And I have other things to do instead of working on the class assignments.
Am I going to regret not doing this class? Maybe, but I doubt it. After all, if I'm still interested I can simply read the archives.
The point of this blathering blog is I don't like being told that "I have to do anything." much like 98% of the population.
Well, time for me to go, 'cause I have to start editing FAERIE. :-)
Later, Peeps!
You, ornery? I never would have thought! lol
ReplyDeleteI'm with you...don't tell me what to do. I'll do the opposite just to prove a point! HA!
The opening phrase I've learned to hate is "Well, if I were you, i would....."
ReplyDeleteGuess what? You're NOT me. And you're NOT in my situation. And if you WERE in my situation, you might be surprised what you'd actually do when push came to shove.
So STFU.
:)
Yeah, Ash, I think I play opposite every time someone says I have to do something.
ReplyDeleteOw, Jods! That is another kiss of death, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteMargaret, it never really bothered me until I got my cancer diagnosis and everybody started preaching to me about "what they would do" as far as treatment, etc.
ReplyDeleteTrust me, unless and until it's time for YOU to make the decision for YOU, you have no idea what you'd do. Really. YOu may THINK you know what you'd do....but you might be surprised.
So sorry, Jods. It happens when you have kids and people w/o kids try to give advice. You never know how you'll react to a situation until you are there holding crappy hand of cards.
ReplyDeleteWhat if I said, "You'll love this book..." I only say that to friends when I know they'd love it. I'm always right. I'm a book matchmaker. lol
ReplyDeleteAmen. Amen. Couldn't have stated it better. I did throw the book against the wall.
ReplyDeleteLol! Too funny, Edie!
ReplyDeleteI KNEW you'd feel the same way about that book, Meg! Poor horse, forced to step on gooshy human idiot. . .
I didn't read the Horse Whisperer book, but I saw the movie. It didn't end the way the book did, I'm happy to say. But I didn't like the movie at all.
ReplyDeleteWhy?
Because it was a story about the people and I was hoping it would be a story about the horses!
About the only people I can bear "you have to" from are medical people I'm paying for their expertise. When the hand therapist said, "You have to do this for three hours a day," I knew if I didn't, I wouldn't recover much use of my wrist. Ditto with the ortho doc/therapists re my new knee.
ReplyDeleteBut typical "You have to read/eat/go/do" drives me up the wall. Almost as much as "You CAN'T do whatever."
I'm all about the professionals who tell me I have to do something, Ms. Marilyn. It's the other people who think they are giving good advice that I have a problem with.
ReplyDeleteOn an aside: Hubby and I were shopping at Sam's Club and he took a sample of 'flax oil granola'.
"Oh, yuck," said hubby handing the sample cup to me. "It tastes like cardboard."
So, of course, I tasted it.
He was right.