When I was editing FAERIE last week, I knew something was wrong in chapters 7 & 8. I didn't know what it was, but I knew something was off. It was around pg 35 or the 25% mark. It was the climax scene from ACT ONE.
I made a note to myself on page one of the manuscript and continued editing. I could have fussed over it, but I wouldn't have gotten any insight into the problem if I didn't refresh my mind with the rest of the story. Remember, it had been five months since I looked at it.
So I kept editing. I reached chapter 14, the climax scene of ACT TWO. WOWZERS! What a difference! It moved! It kept me engaged. I wanted to know what happened next! This was what should have been happening with the previous climax. I sent a note to my goals group. I'll admit it was a slight whine, but it was more of a "geez, I suppose this happens to every writer." type of comment.
One writer thought it was the sagging middle--good call--but it wasn't the middle--IT WAS A FREAKIN' CLIMAX!
Another writer had a similar problem with it dragging in a critical scene. She cut the scene in half and ended up changing POV characters--good idea!--but it won't work for my scene. I'm only in this one POV for the middle grade novel.
Then I realized what Chapter 14 had that was missing in Chapters 7 & 8. To show increased pacing, I needed to tighten my sentences until they are squeaky--the bare minimum. I mentioned in a response that I needed to make them staccato: bam, bam, bam!
And another author chimed in: "Yes, change the cadence."
There you go. It's a pacing issue. I jotted a note to the top of my manuscript to keep in mind when I do my next round of edits.
I'm letting FAERIE rest this week. I need to get back to DEMON and finish it if I want to enter it in RWA's Golden Heart.
Oh, and I had a chapter like that in DEMON--it was the hero's first chapter. Want to know what I did?
I totally chopped it out. I kept it for reference, but it wasn't needed in this story.
It was the wrong time to intro the hero and all it did was slow the pacing and add unnecessary backstory.
Write on!
Good idea about the chopped sentences. I do that when the scene needs to be fast moving.
ReplyDeleteWhen something is sagging, the first thing I do is try to chop something. I enjoy finding things to chop. It's like cleaning out a closet. It feels good.
I was starting to enjoy the choppage, too, Edie. I really think the story is good . . . though I might not get any agent bites.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how you can change the 'feel' of the pacing with the way sentences are constructed. Flowly, eloquent sentences lull the reader into a sense of comfort. Short, staccato sentences can convey erratic or frantic circumstances. The language and sentence structure will evoke completely different emotions from the reader.
ReplyDeleteI also find it helps me immensely to read what I've written out loud to myself. Hearing the words give me a completely different perspective than reading them silently. I can really get a sense of how sentence flows - or doesn't - by reading it aloud.
:-) Yep, that's what writing is all about, Jody. It's only taken me . . . what? NINE YEARS to figure it out! I always read my words outloud, which is why I can't have anyone around when I'm writing.
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